A Light is Gonna Shine

Deep fried battered (as in there's crusty stuff all over them, not that they have been subject to domestic violence) green beans. Whodathunk? Yeah, I got up top for work this afternoon and immediately craved something salty to eat. I guess the two bowls of fruity cereal I had for brunch didn't quite cut it. Anyways, the cute girl over at the coffee bar recommended the deep fried green beans to me. Weird, yet strangely very good. And they hit that salty spot right where it needed to be hit. I'm not going to mention what it's doing to my stomach, however, other than to say that you should all be thankful you're not on the top of this mountain with my right now. Ha!

Anywho, I just made a fool of myself several times over in the span of about three minutes. Isn't that lovely? I had to run an umbrella over to the tram to have it sent down to the guy who forgot it up here, and succeeded in dropping it just as I passed in front of one of the coffee girls. That's really not that bad. Then I ended up backing into some guy and almost spilling his coffee as I laughed rather enthusiastically at something the trammie said. More embarassing. Then I noticed that the cute girl I was talking about in the previous paragraph was mucking about back here unattended, so I had to sprint back to make sure she didn't read any of what I just wrote. All in good fun, of course. Geeze. And I thought I didn't do anything at work.

Mmm, speaking of work, it's just amazing up here right now. There is SO MUCH SNOW, and I love it! It's nice too, because, unlike Saskatchewan, this snow is optional. I'd have to say I definitely prefer it to the deluge we've been having for the last several weeks down at the bottom, but at the end of the night I can still bid winter adieu and trek home to green, albeit wet, grass. This successfully maintains that "first snow" novelty that so quickly wears off when you have to live with it six months out of the year in Saskatchewan.

So, as per the subject of this post (derived from the song "Someday" by Embrace, which made it's way onto the Brit Rock mix I made for the tour), things seem to be looking up, or perhaps it's just me. A large part of it has to do with realizing I'm not alone. This realization has come to me through my conversation with Jesse on Sunday, as well as discovering and reading both Simon and Dana's blogs. There's definitely something to be said for the value of friendship, even if that friendship is only manifested in the knowledge that my friends are alive, well, and living their own lives.

I wish I knew how to explain this better. It has to do with not allowing myself to be so afraid anymore. That was one of the things Jesse and I talked about. So much of religion seems to be based in fear: if you're not a Christian you're going to hell, if you're not "witnessing" you're a bad Christian, etc. Jesse made the point, one which I noticed recently as well, that non-Christians don't seem to worry as much, or at least not about the same things. I suppose that's a fairly obvious statement. I mean, of course non-Christians worry, and probably worry more about things that Christians take somewhat for granted due to the security Christians feel in whatever relationship they have with God. But they're not walking around constantly feeling condemned because they don't measure up to whatever rules seem to govern their religion of choice. He used his sister as an example. Her concerns are for raising her two kids, her husband's about providing for his family. And then there's Jesse and I worrying that God is condemning us for some multitude of unnamed sins, trying desperately to find truth in the mental conditioning we received growing up. How much of Christianity as a religion does God really care about? How many of these rules really matter? How guilty should I feel? Isn't the premise of Christianity that Christ died for us because God loves us and knew we couldn't measure up on our own? Isn't it about people? Isn't that why Christ died? Not so He could make up a bunch of rules that if we didn't obey them we'd be a bad Christian, but because He loves us and wants to save us? Fuck these ridiculous rules (most of which I'm sure exist solely in my own head). I'm sick of feeling condemned. I'm going with grace (many thanks for the encouragement I received from the comments a couple of entries back). Who's with me? Let me know, cos I sure could use a church to belong to.

That brings me to another point. The church, from a Biblical perspective, is the body of Christ, am I right? The body is made up of members, the members being Christians, yes? Well, if so, I would definitely say that I feel much more strongly that the friends I've been talking about are the church I belong to than any congregation I've met in a building with a steeple. Remember those Bible studies we used to do at my house in grade twelve? That was church. We are the church.

Whoo. If anyone actually makes it through this entire post, I'm impressed and you really deserve a chocolate bar or something. Sorry, this just turned into some sort of work-in-progress stream-of-consciousness rant, but it's what's on my mind lately. Some of it, at any rate. And, of course, it didn't come out quite as I intended, but I'll quit while I'm ahead. Until next time...