Strange Dream

As per the title, I had a weird dream last night that I thought I'd write down on here for whatever reason. Maybe you can analyze it for me.

In the dream I found myself at a big supper in what might have been some sort of hall or something. Attending the supper with me were pretty much all my relatives, as far as I know, on my Mom's side of the family. That's all fine and good except that in the last three years or so about half of that side of the family has died. And yup, the dead ones were there too, although in this case they were still alive.

The first person I came across was my cousin who died of meningitis when I was at college in 2001. I think I was with my brother when I saw him in the dream, so we both ran up to him, and I'm not sure if it was because I had assumed he was dead (which would seem logical), but I was just really really happy to see him. The weird thing was, though, that he wasn't alive like I had known him, but rather how he might have been had he survived the meningitis and come out of his coma (actually, I don't know what happens to people in those situations, but I guess my brain made this up). Apparently when he'd come out of the coma he'd suffered some sort of brain damage, so he wasn't able to walk or speak very well, maybe similar to when someone has a stroke. He was very uncoordinated and it was hard to understand him, but I just remember running up to him, overjoyed that he was there, and giving him this huge hug, and, I think, crying as I did so. I can't really even describe the joy and relief I felt at seeing him. It moves me even now just to think of it. I don't remember any specifics as to what was said, only this impression of such joy at seeing him.

I think my Grandpa was also there, although he didn't figure prominently in the dream. He was pretty much just in the background as I talked to these other people.

The other most striking encounter I had was in seeing my mom. She was pretty much normal, the way I remember her, but the vibe that I got in seeing her wasn't quite as joyous as that of seeing my cousin. The overriding feeling I got at seeing her was thinking, "Well, what does that mean for Dad and Carol? How can he be married to both?". The weird thing about that is that I've had several dreams now where I'll encounter my mom, like she's just shown up after being gone for a while, and the same problem persists: What's going to happen? How's Dad going to be with both of them? Sadly, in this dream, it was almost as though it was more of a nuisance that she was there and that we were faced with this problem.

Also, my Mom and I were talking in a room by ourselves after the dinner and she started telling me how I was obese. Yeah, I know, what the heck? That sparked a small argument between us as I looked down at myself and saw clearly that I was still the same size that I am right now, so by no means obese. I tried to point this out to her and she said something along the lines of, "Well, I saw you eating at supper and you ate WAY too much", to which I replied, very emphatically, as I remember, "Mom, it was a FEAST! We were celebrating! I don't eat like that all the time". I know that sounds almost comical, but the nature of the dream made it very serious and dramatic. I mean, dang, I thought my mom was dead and she's come back to lecture me about eating too much at a party? Which, by the way, she never would have done were she alive.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. It's just weird because that particular part with my mom has come up in several other dreams, where I'm just thinking, "Well now what?". I have had other dreams with Mom in them where I am really glad to see her. In the one that I remember most clearly I was standing in our kitchen in Dalmeny and she had just come home after getting groceries. I rushed up and hugged her so hard and started crying into her shoulder because she was just there all of a sudden. I think we even talked a bit about how she had died and she said something along the lines of, "Well, God decided to let me come back for a while".

Weird. I don't really think about this stuff very much, so maybe this is my subconscious doing it for me. If so, I'm not sure what that says about how I feel about my mom right now. I don't think I'll read too much into it. I loved her very, very much, and obviously would rather that she was still alive, but at the same time I'm happy for my Dad and want to see him happy with what he's doing. Maybe I feel like I'm betraying my Mom because of that? I don't know. I'm no psychologist.