I cannot believe what we just did...

Leave it to Jesse to "give" me the most random and bizarre Christmas present I've ever received. I can safely say that I've never attended anything like what he took me to this evening.

He'd been checking up on my schedule lately, asking if I worked Wednesday or Friday evenings, and wondering if I could get them off if I did. I managed to leave early today, so we met up at the mall I used to work at, which is right by his place, at around quarter to seven. He'd told me earlier that he wasn't taking me to dinner, so I assumed we'd be going to see a play or some other type of production.

After driving through the bowels of the city (right near Ruth Ann's place, as a matter of fact - sorry to tell you you live in the bowels, by the way), he pulled up next to a United Church. We then proceeded to walk a complete circuit around the church, searching for a door we could enter through. As we passed what I assumed to be the gymnasium I heard what sounded like basketballs hitting the floor. This definitely left me wondering. We finally managed to find an open door and proceeded to intrude on what looked like a pre-teen girl's tap dancing lesson (the tapping being what I mistook for basketballing). The instructor was kind of cute, though.

Thankfully Jesse had pulled up to the wrong church, so we continued down the street a little further and found the Lutheran church he was actually looking for. We found an open door there quite easily and headed into the basement, where there were an assortment of people already gathered, with more coming in as we had. Turns out Jesse had taken me to a "Laughter Class", or "Laughter Yoga". Yeah, like I said, bizarre.

There were probably around twenty or so of us in total (one or two cute girls thrown in, a lot of thirty-something women and a few twenty-to-thirty year old-ish men). The stand-in guru for the night (as the actual, umm, "leader" was sick at home) was a man with one leg that ran us through a bunch of different laughing exercises. Let's see if I can think of a few examples:
One of the exercises had us pretending to scratch a lotto ticket (our hand), and each time we "scratched" a "square" we'd laugh, like, "Ha ha ha", or "Ho ho ho". He made us scratch about three squares, and then we apparently found out that the ticket was a scam or something, so we had to walk around showing everybody else our empty hands and laugh about it while we looked each other in the eyes. So, so weird. The majority of the rest of the exercises went along those same lines. You'd do something random, while laughing, and then walk around doing whatever it was, while laughing and looking everybody else in the eyes. Did I mention, WEIRD?!?!

Yeah. And then afterwards you just kind of went on your merry way. I talked to a few of the girls when it was over, and it was just pretty much normal, although whatever "flirt circuit" I have in my brain must have shorted out due to the extreme weirdness of what we had just been doing, so I wasn't sure whether I was supposed to make jokes or keep laughing randomly or be serious or what when I talked to them. How do you act normal after something like that?

Then he took me to A&W for something to eat. And then we grabbed Timbits from Tim's, and I laughed and laughed as he made jokes.

Honestly, did any of that really happen? Weird! I'm telling you guys, only Jesse.

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

Well, I just checked the time and it's almost 3:30 in the morning, and I have to get up for twelve (I know, cry me a river) for practice tomorrow. I suppose I should be getting to bed, but I felt this insatiable need to come on here and vent whatever random thoughts seem to be manifesting themselves in my brain at this particular moment.

As per the subject of this post, I've definitely had my fair share of rum for the evening, having just attended my first annual "Char's and Matt's birthday/Bella Christmas party" at the girl's place. Who knew that Rum and Sprite would taste like Ginger Ale? Anyways, I find I'm having a bit of difficulty in my typing, so if anything seems amiss here, blame it on ole Cpt. Morgan (despite that we were drinking Bacardi - blame it on Morgan, the bastard!)

So, anyway, I just finished going over the few emails I have saved in the email account I've had since I was probably fifteen (which would explain why it's the name of a band that I have no involvement in). What an eloquent little shit I was. Idealistic, too. What happened, I'd like to know? Seriously, why isn't everything so cut and dry anymore? Even when I was confused I seemed to know what I was about. Now I just don't have the first clue, any way you look at it.

Matt and I went to see "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" last night, and typically (as in, "in the past") all those references to Christ would have left me weeping like a baby and thanking Him for saving my life. Last night I came close, but somehow couldn't allow myself. This may sound cheesy, but I just feel too hard for that now. I most certainly need Christ's grace and mercy, but I just don't think I can cut it as a Christian. I'm just not good enough. I don't know how to say the right things, do the right things to please Him. I don't know. I guess I'm scared of God. I'm scared of Jesus. I'm scared of what He would require of me. It's one thing to be saved and redeemed and all that, but it's another to have things expected of me. Maybe in my idealistic youth, but not now. I might still be young, but I feel far from idealistic (despite what the survey said about me).

And these are just the ramblings of a drunken man, having consumed far too much eggnog for one evening (Simon knows what I mean when I say that). Chances are tomorrow I'll wake up and read this, regret it, and perhaps even delete it. But damn, at least for one moment I was willing to be honest with myself and the rest of the world: I'm just not good enough.

Lord have mercy.

As per Matt's blog

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

Too much to say

Yeah, so I just started writing in here and then Matt came and interrupted me with something a bit more interesting. He asked me if I'd been in his room today, which I hadn't, and then got me to come see why he was asking. It looks as thought the big flourescent black light he had in one of his fixtures must have exploded, because it was certainly no longer in the fixture and there sure was broken glass - purple glass - all over his carpet, bed and in his fish tank. I think our house (or at least his room) must be haunted. I actually once saw the gate on our deck open and close by itself, too, which was really creepy.

Anyways, that's completely an aside. What I began talking about was the fact that so much has gone on over the last few weeks and as of yet I haven't commented on it. I was kind of counting on being able to do so at work, but the one day I had access to the Internet there it was really busy, so no dice.

To begin with, the tour was pretty amazing. The show in Saskatoon was a definite highlight for me. Being able play for, let alone see, so many of my friends and so many people I haven't seen in such a long time was just amazing. I was really glad that my Dad got to see us, too. He seems to be a pretty big fan. Go figure.

Actually, it was quite uncanny playing that show. When it came time to play Hooray For Andy Autio I was struck by how almost prophetic it was. I basically wrote that song about high school and how I miss it, the verse being: "Maybe we could feel young again, maybe we could have all our friends in one place at one time". Well, that was about as close as I think it might get, having half of Dalmeny out to see us play. It was also really great to finally have something to show for myself to so many people. It just seems like my dreams are being realized, considering the amount of hot air I used to blow about being a musician and all that. It's nice to finally have an outlet to prove it.

The rest of the tour was pretty rad, although, as with anything where you're driving for extended periods in a cramped truck with three or four other people, it did have it's difficult moments as well. The shows were all pretty cool, and even the one I considered to be worst (Edmonton, due to the fact that we were all really tired, I hadn't showered and was quite grumpy for it, and that everyone chose to sit and watch rather than get up and dance) ended up being pretty cool. The venue actually booked hotel rooms for us! I think we probably signed the most merch at the Edmonton show, even though I didn't think people were really into us. Just goes to show you never can tell. Oh, it was also great playing for my brother in Calgary. He came up to me afterwards and said, "I'm really fucking proud of you". Ha! That about made my night.

Thankfully Matt and I had the opportunity to entertain Simon for about a week after we got back as we picked him up in Calgary and he stayed at our place until the following Friday. It was just really great to have him around, and we got to have a talk that I very much needed to have, and I've been feeling better for it since.

Hmm, what else? Well, we played the most horrible show that at least I've ever played last Friday. See Matt's blog for his take if you like. It was at Richard's, which was kind of our dream venue to play when we first moved here, and we've now played it twice, both times being kind of sketchy. I was really tired to begin with, having gotten up at 5:30 that morning for work, so I wasn't really into it from the start. Then, about a quarter of the way through the second song in our set we were assaulted by the most piercing, ear-bleeding feedback I've ever heard in my life. We all had to stop playing and cover our ears to keep them from exploding. We tried a second time and the same thing happened, so the soundman had to run onstage while we stood around looking foolish, and figure out the problem. Things just went downhill from there for me, with more obvious screwups than I think I've ever made. I was inventing "new" parts to Can She Play Guitar to try cover up. Anyways, will wonders never cease, we seem to have impressed at least a few people, most of which I don't think had heard us before (including the owner of Mint Records), so at least there's that. It always amazes me how people respond even to what I consider to be our worst shows. Thank God, cause it certainly has nothing to do with me. I'd say it's despite me, in those cases.

Ok, I'm almost done here. Last item of interest: I just had a pretty wicked staff party on Monday. I work at a ski mountain up here, and for our party they closed the Chalet so that we could have somewhere to hang out. They hired some DJs that played a selection similar to that you would have heard at one of our high school dances (which I consider a good thing, don't get me wrong!), so I had the opportunity to bust out, which is always a pleasure. I think I kind of surprised most of the people I work with, because usually I decline their offers to go to the bar and party, so I think they figured I was kind of quiet and reserved or something. Heh. What can I say? I love to dance. I didn't actually get home until about 8:30 the next morning, actually. Now that's a party!

Anywho, I guess that's it for now. Who knows what else I'll be able to comment on in the coming month? We'll find out, I guess. Life. What an adventure.