Open doors - closed doors

Well, I just received word that the job I interviewed for on Monday was given to someone else. How does this make me feel? Well, I'm not sure, to be honest. I suppose I'm a little bummed, in that I'm going to be stuck making the same meagre amount of money as I have been for the last year, but what's new, right? It also means that whatever amount of excitement I had about starting something new is out the window (speaking of meagre... I think I'm pretty much incapable of excitement nowadays). But, most importantly, in my mind, it means that I'm going to be stuck at a job that I've been beyond sick of lately. I do realize, however, that I am VERY blessed to have my job at HMV. It's just that I'm really tired of working in a mall, as well as working retail in general. Oh well, seems my lot for right now.

Anyway, all that having been said, I'm not actually that bummed. The way I look at it, the entire situation was always in God's hands, just the way I like it. Obviously, the fact that I didn't get the job means it's not what He has for me. Does it get any more simple than that? I think not. I'll certainly need His grace and mercy to sustain me where I'm at right now, but He hasn't let me down so far.

In other news, I'm simply astounded by the relationship God's given me with my girlfriend. I haven't really mentioned her much on here (just as I haven't really been writing on here, go figure...), but I'm honestly just blown away. Let me detail my time with her today so that you get an idea of what I'm talking about:

Today was the big day that the new Doves record was released, and Doves being Emily's favourite band, I made sure that I had copy for us to listen to. This required a bit of restraint on my part, however, as I wanted us both to hear for the first time together but the CD actually arrived at work on Friday, so I had to fight the temptation to listen to it early. At any rate, I succeeded, and went and bought it today.

I picked her up from school (for those of you not in the know, she's 17 and in Grade 12... yikes, eh?) and we went by McDonald's in order to capitalize on their "Cream Egg McFlurry" promotion they have right now. We then went to her place and I gave her the candles and candleholders that I got her while I was in Kelowna. We lit up some nice mood lighting and then put on the new album and listened to it quite loudly while we lay on her bed holding each other (ok, seriously, that sounds really, I don't know, what's the word... sick? Lame? Whatever, who cares. What are you supposed to call it? Spooning? Cuddling? Whatever.). We listened to it twice over and then went upstairs to grab something to eat. After supper I taught her to play a song on the piano, and then we watched the Rufus Wainwright concert she got with her "Want Two" CD. After that we went back to her room and she put on Elliot Smith's "Either/Or" and we "cuddled" (ugh) some more until I had to leave.

Ok, for those of you who know me well enough, you'll understand that this is bascially a dream come true for me. Emily and I were able to accomplish very little other than sitting around listening to music the entire time we were together, and I just LOVE IT (oh, and may I point out the music that we're listening to. C'mon, Doves, Rufus Wainwright and Elliot Smith? Geeze!)! Not doing anything RULES! Seriously, I always tell people that are just meeting me that I'm boring, because it's true, really. All I really want to do is just hang out, laze around, whatever. And that's exactly what Emily and I are able to do, and she loves it just as much as I do. What are the chances of that?

Anyways, I can't say enough good things about her, but I'll spare the mushy details (for now). God is good. What more can I say? He has things under control, whether it be me not getting this job, my relationship with Emily, how well the band's going, the fact that I'm still breathing, etc. Oh yeah, the church I've been going to is pretty rad, too. It finally feels like I've found a church I can call home, which is nice after floating around for so long.

And I guess I'll leave it there. I'll toss out a verse from Psalm 28 that I really identified with today in closing:

Psalm 28:7 - "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart exults, and with my song I shall thank Him".