True Anonymity

Are you ever filled with a deep and enduring sadness?

One of the things I hate (and I guess love, in a sense) about playing shows is that I never have enough time to devote to all the people I want to talk to. Whether it's random fans that I've never met before or friends of mine that I've specifically invited, I always feel torn in a thousand directions and never able to fully focus on one particular person for very long. I see all these opportunities to talk to people slip away from me right before my eyes because someone else will come up that I want to speak with equally as much. What's to be done? Well, I guess in the case of my friends I can always talk to them later, but I do feel a measure of regret at not being able to devote as much attention to them as I might like, and I hope that they don't feel like they've been ignored once they leave. It's just hard to talk to everybody and give them the attention they deserve. If I could have my way, everyone would just stick around afterwards long enough for me to really talk to all of them.

As for the deep, enduring sadness part, I'm not entirely sure what that's about. Maybe it's not wanting to see friends involved in relationships they'd be better off without. Maybe it's wanting just such a relationship myself. Don't know at this point, but I'll be all right. Better to have too much to say and too many people to say it to than nothing at all, right?